11 Things You Can Say To Get People To Hate You

Hate is a strong word. Isn’t it? Sometimes it’s the perfect word. OK. Maybe you aren’t supposed to hate people for life. But, sometimes, you want to hate them for just a second, a millisecond, a fraction of a second. There are moments where you want to do just that because their actions are so vile or repugnant that you can’t stomach being in their space. That’s a pretty strong reaction.

It’s easy to see that reaction happening when the actions are dramatic. However, there are moments when we utter words and we aren’t fully aware of how they can come across to others. Sometimes we say things that make people hate us for a millisecond…you know, just before the Jesus kicks in. And maybe it’s not what we say, it might simply be HOW we say it.

Maybe you’re not one of those people who intentionally TRIES to incur hate. But, if you happen to be, here are some things you can say to speed the process right along:

1. I’m just late. That’s how I am. — WHAT?? There are people who have a challenge with overbooking, misjudging time and are generally inept with estimation of tasks. I can deal with those people. But, the person who simply says, “I’m late. Deal with it”…ugghhhh!
2. What’s the problem? It’s just a dog! — I admit it. I was one of those people. I didn’t understand why dogs had sweaters and cats had their own space. I didn’t get it. Now, I’m a grown-up. I have kids. I understand. What I understand even more is though I may not always agree, I don’t have to minimize what is of importance to someone else. There’s a reason cat videos are popular.
3. You’re wrong! — Admit it. You saw that moment in the presidential debate where Hillary looked like she wanted to jump across the room to grab Donald’s throat. She made a statement and his response was, “You’re wrong!” DEATH STARE!! Sure. There are times where people make incorrect assumptions, have less than factual information or simply do not want to see a new perspective. But, there’s just something about putting those two words together. It feels like an attack to them. Make it about you instead. Example — “I’m not sure I agree with that statement.”
4. It was all your fault — Ahhh. The old standard. The blame game. No one likes it but everyone’s played it at some point. No one likes to be blamed. But to be blamed for ALL of the wrong doing is tough to swallow. Shifting ALL of the blame gets you high on the hate meter pretty quickly.
5. In my opinion… — You’ve heard this one and the same thought crosses your mind all the time. “Who asked you for your opinion?” It takes you a moment or two to pull yourself together before you actually begin listening to what is being said. People like to state their opinions. But, we cringe when someone begins to boldly share theirs. Here’s the funny thing. We don’t cringe when someone says what they’re thinking. We cringe when they start it out by stating it’s their opinion. It seems like a not-so-subtle way of dismissing the validity of everything else.
6. No offense but, or I don’t mean to complain, but… — Isn’t that hilarious? You’re about to do something but you tell everyone not to pay attention to it before you do it. I’m about to cut you with a knife but first let me tell you I don’t really have a knife in my hand. That’ll make it better. No it will not. Say what you mean.
7. Too much — No, not the words too much. You’re just saying too much. There’s an art to knowing when to shut up! There is. We’ve all been on one side of this or the other. You’re either the talkee or the talker. I’ve been both. I’ve rambled incessantly because I was nervous or simply because I wasn’t paying attention to the body language of the other person. And I wasn’t paying attention because, the truth was, I wasn’t concerned about the other person. I was in the conversation for me. I wanted to hear me. I wanted to be heard. I wanted to be validated. It was about me. I’ve learned this is a great way to keep people away. If you want to be a loner…check!
8. Always disagree — No matter what someone says, always disagree. YOU don’t necessarily need to say the exact opposite. Just dismiss what they’ve said and add your own flavor to it always. If they say the sky is blue, you say it’s actually a shade of indigo. If they say it’s boiling hot outside, you point out that boiling is actually 212 degrees Fahrenheit.
9. Interrupt — It doesn’t matter what you say here. Simply interrupt. Do it constantly. When someone is speaking, don’t listen. Simply jump in all the time. Be sure to start your sentences with, “In my opinion…” This will really get you in the running for the Player Hater’s Ball.
10. That’s not how we’ve always done it, or in the old days… — Yep, tell them how inflexible you are. Let them know right up front how much you don’t like change. Let them know that you’re going to make it painful for any progress to occur. Let them them know it doesn’t make sense for them to present any new ideas because your fingers are already in your ears…la la la la la la la la.
11. You need to calm down — I used this one the other day. I was in the supermarket and I wasn’t paying attention. I got close to where a lady was putting her PIN number into the machine. I honestly wasn’t intending to freak her out but she got really mad. At first, I didn’t think she was talking to me but then I realized she was. So, I looked at her and told her, “Lady, you need to calm down.” It had the total opposite effect. Hmmm. Maybe she wasn’t listening to me. Because then, she would have done what I told her to do…right? I’m not sure if she likes me now.

Words are like weapons. We can use them for good or for evil. We can use them to help, to heal or to hurt. We can use them to save time or to waste time. I’m learning to use less of them. This is partly because I’m still learning how to best use the ones I know. Maybe we can learn a new way to communicate that’s less complicated.

Today is Day 64 of a 12 week writing journey.