Being Thankful Through Hate
Thanksgiving, like many other holidays, always presents a conundrum for me. As a kid, I went to school and learned, like all other little American kids, about the day the Pilgrims and the “Indians” came together and had a turkey dinner. It was such a neatly packaged story of love, hope and forgiveness. But, then I grew up and learned everything wasn’t as it seemed. Everything wasn’t exactly as I was told.
I live in a country where there are many people and many perspectives. There are some perspectives which talk about loving everyone. And there are others which are built on hate and oppression. I read an article recently about the man who claims to have founded the “alt-right” (I don’t want to write his name here because I’m disgusted by what he stands for). As I read the article and listened to his rant, I recognized his heart as one simply after power. He spoke about the “right” of a certain race to lead and be in power. I felt like his words didn’t come from a place of recognized hate. Rather, he had convinced himself it was his right to be in a certain position. He stated they don’t need other races but instead, it was the other races which needed them.
I’m going to take a left turn here. When I sat down this morning, this was not what I intended to write. I intended to write something meaningful about Thanksgiving and why I’m thankful today (I’ll get there). But, when I began writing and thinking about all of the stories we have been fed, about the continued mistreatment of Native Americans…yes, AMERICANS, the people who were here before all of the rest of us…my fingers began to write a different article.
We are at a place in history where hurt and sensationalism rule. War is glorified. Building walls brings applause and hate is seen as a right. As much positive energy and light as I bring to each day, it becomes harder and harder not to see the destruction around me. It’s not the kind of destruction like in the Mad Max or Terminator movies where you see old, dusty, metal relics lying around. It’s actually the sneaky kind. It’s the kind where people are being slowly bred to accept hate as normal behavior. And to be quite brutal, this kind of world sucks.
Here’s the good news. This isn’t new. Although some of the emotions might be occurring for the first time in my adult life, this isn’t new. Humans have always hated each other. Humans have always attempted to step on each other in order to create some feeling of power. Humans have always judged each other. Humans have always found a way to separate themselves while pronouncing some worse and themselves better. So, what we have here isn’t a Trump phenomenon. It isn’t an Obama phenomenon. It isn’t a Rosa Parks, 1960’s, 1865 emancipation proclamation or slavery phenomenon. It’s something which has existed for thousands of years.
Actually, it’s not humans. It’s just grown-up humans. As children, we still have hearts untainted by the hate jaded grown-ups seem to embrace.
Here’s the better news. We have choice. We can’t change people who hate. But we can change ourselves. We can make the decision to inspect our lives first to see where our own lenses need adjustment. Yes, I know. What do you do when you choose love and one group still decides to beat you down? Don’t you protect yourself? Isn’t survival and self-preservation essential? Yes, it is! But, does my language and perspective reflect love?
Do I lump everyone into certain groups based on the past?
Do I have a judgment filter about entire groups of people before I actually get to know them personally?
Who actually is my brother or sister and how do I think about them? Forget how I treat them because what I actually THINK about them colors how I will initially treat them.
I gave the good and the better. Here’s what’s best. I can be thankful. Gratitude wouldn’t be as meaningful without harsh realities. Finding gratitude is like a bright rose in a field of thorns. There is a lot of pain around it but the rose is beauty.
I’ve led you on this short, written journey through some of the pain and sadness. Now, it’s time to flip and ask the question, what am I thankful for?
Here are 10 things:
- I’m thankful for the freedom to write and express thoughts. Yeah, there may be some who disagree but I still have the ability to use my pen or my keyboard to share how I feel.
- I’m thankful that despite what history might actually be, I have a day to spend with my family who I love immensely.
- I’m thankful for an amazing wife who is so much more than I even deserve. Yeah, I married up!
- I’m thankful for 3 healthy, amazing children who are growing so well. I don’t even know what we did to train these kids. I couldn’t write a manual because I’m still a bit confused about the process. Plus, we still have a few years to go.
- I’m thankful for friends who supported me through my recent book launch. That has been amazing to see and experience.
- I’m thankful for my pastors who help me to understand true leadership every week.
- I’m thankful for those people with dreams who I see acting on them everyday. You inspire me to move forward!
- I’m thankful for the village around my family. It’s really true. It does take a village.
- I’m thankful for the clients who have hired me this year. I really do love working with you and enjoy every moment. Some days, believe it or not, I have nerves before I get up to speak or train. I wonder how it’s going to end up. But, it always turns out just fine because we always find a way to connect at the heart.
- I’m thankful for God. Everyone has different beliefs but everyone believes in something or someone. Everyone gives credit or blame for what happens in their lives. In my case, I’m simply thankful for being able to know that no matter what happens here, I have a God who’s prepared something better for me.
Yeah, this turned out TOTALLY different than I expected when I sat down to write. But, I’m learning to go with the flow of the pen. And I’m thankful for the opportunity to learn it.
What are you thankful for?
